What the Hat Told You
by Seereth
Summary: A collection of drabbles relating the conversations between the Sorting Hat and its...victims.
1. Weasley, Ron

A/N: Not the most original idea in the world, but I had fun writing these anyway. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not for profit. Did I forget anything else?

**What the Hat Told You **

Weasley, Ron 

By Seereth

_Another one, eh?_

_-pleasepleasepleaseplease-_

_I think,_ said the Hat, _I've put a Weasley in Slytherin…once. You're stuck with your family._

Ron's shoulders slumped as the tension left them. **_Thank_**_ you!_

_Which isn't to say the lot of you wouldn't fit in Hufflepuff too. Though I must say, perhaps your older brothers wouldn't fit **quite** as well._

_We were surprised,_ said Ron, _when Bill and Charlie weren't put in Ravenclaw._

_And your other brother? _Asked the Hat. _Percy?_

**_I _**_was,_ Ron said. _Percy's… well, Mum wasn't. Dad was. Fred and George well … they… um…_

_Not too much, I hope. GRYFFINDOR!_


	2. Vance, Emmeline

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not for profit. Did I forget anything else? 

**What the Hat Told You**

Vance, Emmeline 

By Seereth

_Good Lord, haven't seen one of **you** in a while, _said the Hat companionably.

_No,_ agreed Emmeline. _But people had begun to ask awkward questions_.

_Yes. I much prefer being a hat… Let's see, father or mother?_

She folded her hands and tried to keep her back straight. It became clear she was expected to answer. _That's **your** job, isn't it?_

_I'm not **omniscient,** you know,_ said the hat.

_I bet that eases the Malfoys' minds considerably._

The hat chuckled. _You'll fit anywhere. Where would you like to go?_

_Wherever,_ said Emmeline, _I'll get the most books._

_I suspected. RAVENCLAW!_


	3. Black, Sirius

A/N: Because eventually, I always get to Sirius. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not for profit. Did I forget anything else? 

**What the Hat Told You**

Black, Sirius 

By Seereth

Maybe it was his imagination, but Sirius thought the hat rested too lightly on his head, making him feel uncomfortably like a foregone conclusion.

There was a pause, and then the Hat said, rather puzzled, _Oh._

_Yes,_ Sirius agreed. _It's Andromeda's fault._

_Mmmm… Well, you're bright enough for Ravenclaw. **More** than bright enough. Definitely not a Hufflepuff. _The Hat began to mumble, and Sirius caught only one word in five. He waited with a fairly convincing display of patience.

_Hah! What was your mother's name?_

_Anastasia Vance, _said Sirius.

_This will make up for the time she pinched me. GRYFFINDOR!_


	4. Riddle, Tom

A/N: For Rosie, because she asked for it. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. Also not for profit, interestingly enough.

What the Hat Told You

Riddle, Tom

By Seereth

> Tom put the hat over his eyes a little nervously, not quite certain what to expect.

Oh, he knew where he'd be placed. _That_ wasn't a problem.

**_Well_**_,_ said the hat's dry, dry voice. _Well._

_ Yes? _said Tom defensively.

_I just wonder, and I wonder with many people, if I should tell them more than your House. For obvious reasons._

Tom didn't say anything, and the hat seemed to find this response…appropriate.

_I've never done it,_ it added. _You can rest easy now, if you were worried._

_ I wasn't, _Tom said, trying to sound confident.

_Good for you. SLYTHERIN!_


	5. Malfoy, Draco

A/N: Er, it's entirely possible that my dislike of Draco is speaking through the hat. Here. Okay, it's quite _likely_ in fact. 

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, I promise. I'm not sure I mind either.

What the Hat Told You

Malfoy, Draco

By Seereth

_I wonder that they even bother sending you up anymore, _said the hat irritably. _I mean, we **know** where you all end up._

_ I wonder, _Draco sneered, _that they still use such a ratty, tired old thing. But I suppose you've some sentimental value to them. Merlin knows why._

The hat had the audacity to chuckle. _Your father,_ it said, _was much better at that than you are._

_ Shut-up, you insolent, moth-eaten, mangy-_

_ Malfoys, _sighed the hat. _They never seem to get any better._

_ Just place me already, you stupid-_

_ They just get stupider… And more impatient, it seems. SLYTHERIN!_


	6. Lupin, Remus

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not for profit.

What the Hat Told You

_Lupin, Remus_

By Seereth

_They're all,_ said Remus, bringing his hands down from the brim of the hat, _expecting me to end up in Slytherin._

_Really? _it asked mildly.

_Really,_ he said. _If they know._

_ You have, _it said, _a singular lack of ambition._

_ Oh?_

_ Indeed. _It paused. _You do, however, have a fondness for books, which means Ravenclaw, and a stubbornness that might land you in any house._

_ Anything else?_

_ Yes, you came here at all. It was very brave of you. That could be Gryffindor._

_ Am I supposed to decide? _He asked.

_More or less.___

Remus hesitated. _You decide._

_ Hmm…Alright then. GRYFFINDOR!_


	7. Jones, Hestia

A/N: This is, of course, entirely speculation on my part as we don't know where Hestia fits. With a name like Hestia, I expect she might've gone in Hufflepuff, but I thought I'd try my hand at this scenario.

Disclaimer: Alas, still not mine.

What the Hat Told You

_Jones, Hestia_

By Seereth

_If you put me in Slytherin, _Hesita said, _I'll rip you apart with my bare hands._

The hat resettled itself on her head before answering. _Well, that eliminates _one_ option anyway. And somehow I doubt you'll care for Ravenclaw._

_ I wouldn't, _she agreed. _But I don't want Hufflepuff very much either._

_ A lazy one…_It said. _Quite a few of you this year.___

_ Oh. Really? I hadn't…noticed,_ she said.

_Of course not.__ You're not the Sorting Hat._

She made an annoyed sound. _So hurry up and _sort_ then._

_ You're making this, _the hat informed her, _almost too easy._

_ Really?_

_ Yes. GRYFFINDOR! _


	8. Potter, James

A/N: I think Lea or Rosie requested James. Maybe both of them. Here he is after many, many months.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Still not making any money off of them. Beginning to suspect this is a waste of time.

What the Hat Told You

Potter, James

By Seereth

_Hallo!_ James tells the Hat brightly, confidently.

_Yes_, says the Hat. _To you too._

James swings his foot out and back so it hits the rungs of the stool. _Well?_ he asks.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

_Stop that,_ the Hat says. _I don't envy your teachers, boy._

James smiles in a way that says he _does_.

_I would appreciate some variation in these dynasties, _the Hat adds sourly. It shuffles on his head. _Very well.__ I think you will hate Slytherin too much and be baffled in Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw will destroy you. So, GRYFFINDOR!_


	9. Evans, Lily

A/N: I love drabbles. I forgot how much. Someone asked for Lily too. I'm too lazy to go check. Sorry it took forever.

Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. Kthx.

What the Hat Told You

Evans, Lily

By Seereth

Lily has no idea what to expect when she puts the hat on. The **H**at.

_Good evening,_ she tries.

Somehow, it manages a laugh. _Well, all right, Miss Evans. Let's see where you belong._ It pauses. _Muggle-born?__ You'd die in Slytherin. Ravenclaw wouldn't really suit you either._

_Oh,_ says Lily.

_I'm more concerned with the people there. So. It's Hufflepuff or Gryffindor, my dear._

_I don't – _Lily stops. Thinks. _Gryffindor is bravery? _she asks. _And Hufflepuff persistence?_

_Dedication_, says the Hat. _Determination.__ You have those traits already. I think you will need bravery, though._

_Okay, _agrees Lily.

_GRYFFINDOR!_


	10. Longbottom, Neville

Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR's.

What the Hat Told You

Longbottom, Neville

By Seereth

_My_, says the Hat.

Neville says nothing, just sits miserably with a puzzled Sorting Hat on his head and a school that is in for a long wait.

_Maybe – no,_ says the Hat. _Or – no.__ You could go – Um. Look, are you sure you're supposed to be here?_

_Yes!_ Neville says.

_Well, you've got the blood for Slytherin – _

_No,_ Neville interrupts.

_Easy, easy.__ You're not bookish enough for Ravenclaw. _The Hat pauses._ I wonder why it always comes down to Hufflepuff or Gryffindor? But…Well, no. It's your choice._

_Gryffindor, _says Neville (quite relieved.)

_All right, _says the Hat doubtfully. _...GRYFFINDOR!_


End file.
